I feel lost. All I want to do is sleep and dream. Dreaming is still better than my current reality. I try to hide from my stress and fears through sleep. It is when I get to leave the old world behind and experience something new every time I close my eyes.
But back to what I was saying. I feel lost. Everything is up in the air. First situation is these feelings, these wants, these needs. What am I supposed to do with them when you are so far away. I really don't believe in long distance things but at the same time I don't know what to do. I'm not closed off to others but when we talk everyday, when we flirt, all I think about is you. It's sick. And I know you're fucking other girls and talking to them too. It's a reality. But what am I supposed to do with these feelings. I am lost.
I am lost all over again. All I want to do is write. I want to write screenplays and poetry and everything under the sun. But when I am told that stuff doesn't make sense and that they all hate the idea it leads me to doubting myself. And I just can't do that. I want to spit right back at them and say "Ok, well you write something better, you mongrels. You can't even format a screenplay. Give me a few weeks to edit it and then see what I come up with. UGH." I hate being told my writing isn't good because I know it is definitely better than yours. And I know it's not perfect and that I need more experience and that I am not the best. But writing, especially screenplays is a process. First draft is always shit. For my first short that I wrote in my screenwriting class we took at least 5 weeks in developments and rewrites.I guess a part of me thinks that they're right. I should've just become a vet or something like that. FEARS VS. DREAMS... are they really all that different?
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