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I've come to a conclusion. She stole your heart and I didn't. I don't know what I was to you, but I wasn't her. It doesn't make sense to me how you could like a person like her. She's a bitch. So, I reason that I am better than her cause you wanted a train wreck instead of this work in progress. Maybe I am wrong or completely right. I just looked through your pictures and realized you never tried to immortalize me. It seems silly, but you can tell by the little things someone does that they really like you. I think we were on that road but then you veered off or maybe you were always on your own dirt path. There's a lot of I don't knows that I wish I could ask. I know it doesn't matter because what ever the reason, this is just how it is. I can't change this. I think that is the hardest part to accept. I just can't understand how all these strong feelings led to this. All I am to you is an object. Have you noticed how our conversations always end up in the same place. Let's have sex. I thought it was more than that. Maybe it never was and you courting me was just to get in my pants. I wish I could search your mind. I'd give anything to know the reason even if it hurt me in the end. People are afraid of the truth, but without the truth I am left wondering forever in madness. And honestly I thought I was getting ready to let you go but last night was like ripping the bandaid off an unhealed sore. My heart hurt. And if you read this you will think I am crazy, that I worry too much, that this confirms I am not worth the drama. You're wrong. I just care about these things that I think are worth saving. I'm a loser for love. I feed off the possibility of love. And one day I'll get over all this, I swear I will, and I'll find someone else. You'll be reading about another you who broke my heart. Or maybe you'll read how special this one guy makes me feel. I know that I still don't get what went wrong. I know how I have problems letting go. I know you treat me like an object and I hate it. I know this is it. So maybe leave me alone for a while, okay?