change can be good when you can't change the present

My dog follows me into my room and jumps on my bed as if it is his favorite place to be, then he lets out a silent fart and I just about gag from the smell. Why Cody, why?

Anywho...

Lately (within the past few days) I have been in a transitional period. Currently, I am in the process of changing my priorities because my prior arrangement didn't work out so well.

I used to say that I loved change, but change can be and is more drastic than just changing your hair color (which I also enjoy doing). In reality 99% of the time I fucking hate change because it is uncomfortable and uncontrollable. Right now I am trying to focus on...
A. what makes me happy instead of what makes me sad (an obvious solution) B. school C. things other than my emotions
I have to say I am doing better than I thought I would be at this point, but that is only because I haven't had to deal with a certain uncomfortable issue. I don't like to beat around the bush about things, and I am all about being honest, saying what you want to say. But, right now since I haven't cleared the air face to face with him I'll keep my objective to myself. I will say that you have to do what is best for you, always. I am not talking about using people as stepping stones to get ahead, but for example if you are being hurt you need to oust yourself from that situation no matter the consequences. So, in this case he did what he thought was more important and accidentally, with no intention on his part, I got hurt. Now instead of hurting and whining and moaning and complaining I am trying to eliminate the hurt by taking certain precautions (which sucks but I really have no other choice). I'd love to be the person who doesn't care or who bounces back within the day going back to normality, but that's not me. It takes me some time to recharge my batteries. And my feelings will still be there and all but it is almost like I have shut them out in order for me to move on.

The other day someone told me this quote and I have heard it before, but never with the subject being a butterfly ( they always say if you love "something"... something is so impersonal ). Now all I can visualize is me squashing a butterfly and having bug goop on my hands.
You know, if you try to hold a butterfly tightly in your hand, it will die. You have to let it go. If it comes back, it is truly yours, but if it doesn't, it never really was.
tada! Great quote!
Anywho, I plan on focusing on school and maybe getting back on the playing field. (if I even have the time).

Lastly, change isn't as easy as changing your hair color but it certainly is not as permanent either. You have the ability to shift the pieces of your life, making a bad change into a good one depending on your attitude.
Maybe I can take everything I learned from this last situation and apply it in my next attempt at getting to know someone on a deeply personal level.