muddy waters

What's the difference between a hook up buddy, someone you're dating, and a relationship? In movies like No Strings Attached we see two lovely hot people engage in a purely sexual relationship. Makes sense. We need our pipes cleaned, plus sex releases endorphins (yay endorphins!) In the end they end up falling for each other. Ashton wants Natalie full time, but she can't do it. Eventually she comes around and they live happily ever after. I think it is very rare for a hookup buddy to turn into anything serious or stable because you have this foundation of sex and then you become closer, but in the end you always retreat back to the sex (it's all you know for sure). You know someone will fuck you. But that someone may not love you. I don't really know what love is. M. Scott Peck goes into way too much detail about love, and he says that love is wanting to nurture someones growth regardless of whether they nurture your own (but healthy love is when you're helping each other grow). Love is uncomfortable. He says a lot of other useful stuff but honestly his thoughts are so intricate that it is hard to understand what he is really saying, M. Scott Peck that is. So you date someone, whether that includes sex or not, you spend time with the person so as to get to know them better. Then relationships encompass everything, sex, love, dates, fights, growth, etc. I believe that some of these lines can get blurred. Here is the cycle of my last "ship"


seeing him->dating him->sex->he becomes distant->we stop seeing each other->sex->angry at him->friends->weirdness->friends(sort of)

and here's my most recent "ship" sexy talk->angry at him->apology accepted->talk a lot/confide in him->give up on finding love but continue talking to him->become closer with him->skype->trip->date->sex->talk even more->go on other dates/hangout->blowup and start to worry so much that I pull out of the situation->get back in situation and immediately see him->more more sex->and here I am now

As you can see sex comes into the equation early on...that's not to say that that is what it's all about. When he came down to visit we didn't have sex. It was a nice change.

But I suppose the true test is whether it lasts, whether sex so early did or didn't screw it up. We had been talking for a while before any of this happened though. I don't know...I am told putting the cart before the horse only lands you in mud.