I don't know what to do like always

I honestly have no clue what to do. This decision is not the end of the world or even the end of my days but it matters to me and that is why it is weighing on me so heavily. My plan didn't work out but it didn't work out badly per say just differently than I expected. I originally thought, "Okay, I'll wait till he is ready." And now I think, "What if he is never ready?" I respect his choice of wanting to take it slow. I don't think he is a douche, an asshole, full of shit or just another guy leading me on. But, at the same time I don't know what to call him. Originally when he said being with me was far from his mind, I thought that it didn't matter and that all that did matter was how he made me feel. I failed to take in to account how I would feel 7 months from now possibly sitting next to him but not being with him. My idea to ask him out wasn't foolish, if anything it cleared up a lot of things for me. I have already learned a few things. I know no one can give me the answer but I just wish I had someone to help me figure this out because for 3 years I haven't felt this way and it would be a waste if I gave up now, right? Lets say in some parallel universe I was him and him me, and I told him I wanted to wait and didn't know if I'd ever be ready or let alone ready for him. And, lets say he liked me so much that he said he would wait. That seems admirable but also caustic. A part of me says "Don't wait." Another part says, "Wait because he is worth it." Then the other part says, "Yes, he is worth it but he may never realize you're worth it." And, then the other part of me says, "it isn't a matter of worth because both of you are undoubtedly worth each other, but rather it depends on something else which you can't figure out yet." This is a big deal to me because I have been waiting so long to feel this way and now I am either going to have to wait longer without the security of a win or leave like I always try and do. I don't want to leave but maybe it is what is best for me. The melodramatic part of me wants to leave and never look back. The conscious and sane part of me says suck it up and just be friends. Usually during writing I am able to figure out a solution to the madness in my head but now all I have is a clenched throat and a heavy, overburdened, too sensitive heart. I think I'd be waiting forever but maybe it is wrong of me to say that. I don't know :'( I think I need to pin point what is most important to me.