So here I am again. The same place as always for me.
I know I am a bit crazy and melodramatic. I have about the same amount of mood swings as Janice Dickinson, which is a heck of a lot. So, sue me. Big whoopdee freaking doo. Seriously, everybody has flaws, flaws that you either decide to accept and love or ones that just aren't worth the struggle. As I said in my previous blog post, love is not easy yet it is easy. It's a dualistic trait possessing a yin and yang, or you could call love a schizophrenic. Anywho, I don't know why I am never worth the struggle in love. Why am I always here, alone, with no gallant knight in shining armor saying,"Beauty’s ensign yet is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks?" What ever happened to Romeo? Blame it on this or that, still, I am not worth it and frankly I am tired of it! I know I am a good person, yeah I have hit speed bumps in my past but I am so much farther along the road called life than I could have ever imagined. I am compassionate and kind. I love little rats for goodness sake. I think I can truly find beauty in everything. So why isn't it enough? Is it because of our age, the ones who want to live fast and die young. Whatever it is I have come to the conclusion that I am great and that I deserve even grander than grand guys. No longer will I chase them, they will have to chase me. I'm a real catch ;) So fuck you, the ones who never want to chew through the tart and hairy dermis of a fruit to get to the sweet, juicy, succulent core (Sorry if that gives a weird image). You have lost.
Said by one of the Greats from my literature readings...
Offred: Finds the script "nolite te bastardes carborundorum," written by her incarcerater which means "Don't let the bastards grind you down."
You do not make me who I am
You do not make me whole
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