Not standing a chance

It's true that personality is one of the keys to attraction but then again a big part of it, is looks. I mean some people would definitely pick beauty over brains. I necessarily don't know what I would pick if I had to choose for myself. Anywho recently I have been interested in this guy well I have been interested in a few but I have been hooking up with him every time I have seen him. I know this sounds stupid but I look at the comments that girls are leaving him on myspace and they are cute and gorgeous. I think I am pretty but nothing compared to them. Really I think everyone is beautiful in some sense whether it's on the inside or the outside. Personally I see myself as just, well average. It's funny though the guys I actually care about and actually want to start a relationship with don't give me the time of day( well at times they do). But it's horrible really, it makes me feel like nothing. But I just don't have the confidence. I guess it's because I am around such wonderful and amazing people who are succeeding way beyond their years and I am like a stagnant pond. I mean I can't deny some of my growth because I feel like I've made progress but at the same time I feel like any moment I could fall back into my own ways. I pity myself  that I do not have the strength or even the willpower of my friends. I hate pitying myself but it's hard to stop. But there are people out there that really care for me. Some people that I hardly talk to show me love and care. They compliment me and make me feel special. I believe people too easily and I know this is definitely a flaw of mine. But how can I not trust people when they're so nice to me. Maybe I am crazy or maybe I am completely sane but I feel lost in this turmoil of thoughts that seem to never leave me.

Thanks for reading

love Molly J.