150%

This post serves two purposes.

1. To get me in a writing mood

2. To make a deal with myself


Recently I have started a new sleep regimen (with the exception of last night) where I am in bed by 12, asleep probably around 1am, and then awake by 9 or 10am. I have cut my caffeine from 4 drinks to 2 drinks. I don't drink caffeine after 6pm. Hypersomnia and insomniac are my new titles. Anywho, I would say that this is another baby step towards changing my life. Considering that I used to go to bed around 3 or 4 am and wake around 2 or 3 pm, but that's only if someone woke me up, otherwise I would keep sleeping. It's been a week and I feel better. It is easier to get up and I honestly feel like my body's gears are clicking back into the right places.

Also, I am planning on going to a creative writing club at CSUF on Monday night. I met a new guy friend. I am planning to go to an AA meeting with Miss Elin two wednesday's from now. AND I am planning to go on a run with the Snail's Pace running club in MV this Wednesday.

I am going to make it to all of these commitments.

Oh, and I deleted snapchat after one of my wonderful friends who received a nude photo from me made it into this cat picture. It was really funny until I knew he was showing my other friends. Then it made me feel weird. Oh the downfalls of snapchat. Such is life. No more nudes. Tons more condoms (don't ask).

So, what does this have to do with anything.

Well, for once I feel as if I am giving my life 150%. Why not 200% because 200% is an absurd number plus, "15", is one of my lucky numbers.

I feel so happy. Overjoyed. Just smiling all the time when I am around people. It feels good to move on, do new shit and put effort into your life.

I was giving at best 75%. I wonder if for one month I can give 150% every day.

I'll workout when I say I am going to.
I am going to go to an AA meeting.
I will meet new people through the running club and or creative writing club.
I will be a good parent to myself and keep getting into bed at 12.
I shall look at life with an open heart, being nice to everyone who deserves my kindness (there are the rare exceptions when shit is not cool and you gotta be a boss and straighten dat shiiiet out).

^wtf molly? ghetto as hell.

And lets say I fail at all of these...well gotta just get back on the horse (which after falling is honestly and literally incredibly hard to do especially when you feel like crying in the dirt arena).

You may see this as silly and stupid, but I feel unfulfilled. I wonder if you were to look at your own life what percentage you would give it. Are you living the life you want? Maybe or maybe not. The beautiful thing is that you can change all this.

And rest assured that I will have my moments of spit and fire and curse words. That happens every day. The thing you have to remember is to recover from your anger and keep going.