I may not post as often as I'd like to, but when I do I make it count.
Today I encountered a group of misogynistic men in their 50s. When I offered them complimentary dessert for the one man's birthday, they asked whether it "came with a spanking." I courteously and maybe too politely laughed it off and said how that was not part of my job description. Looking back I regret that I didn't say something like, "What the fuck is wrong with you, you misogynistic motherfuckers. Are you sick in the head? Who told you it was okay to sexually harass me?" I didn't though. A missed opportunity I suppose.
Those pieces of shit weren't worth me losing my temper.
Some might say these men were joking or just poking fun. Since I have been in a situation before where a man has undermined my gender with his idea that it was okay for one of his company workers to comment on my "tits," I know how infuriating it is to be so appalled in the moment that you end up speechless. The kicker was the fact that he expected my answer to be a placid, "thank you."
What hurts is that these men, grown men, thought it was okay to say these things. What is even worse is that they expected me to accept it. Although I did become silent, I learned even more so what to do in these situations.
This sort of touched on the topic of rape and unwanted sexual comments or behavior from a man or woman. People make arguments about the validity of rape with the comment of, "Was she asking for it? Was she wearing sluttly clothes?" Some people respond with indifference to what the girl (or guy) was wearing and instead preach that men (or women) should be raised to respect everyone regardless of how they look, talk, dress, etc. So, was I asking for it? Was it my bright coral lipstick that seduced them into thinking I was open to their chauvinistic comments? Who can say, but I know that that is not okay. Their comments are not okay.
Respect everyone. Men and women. Gender should not determine what you do or don't do to someone.
