FRIDAY FRIDAY getting down on FRIDAY

So Friday night filming came together, somehow, on its own. No, I take that back. My filming was successful because of the wonderful people in my life, without them it would've been a weird ass janky underexposed film about my life in 2 minutes. And now, after it is edited, it will be a sweet ass 2 minute film about my life that might be slightly underexposed (due to my fault... go pro not good in low light settings). Like I said before, without everyone showing up and shoveling their supreme acting skills(not sarcasm) from God knows where, I would be nowhere. I would also be nowhere without everyones support too. But it was weird because the day after I was unexpectedly cheery with a grin that drove on for miles. I knew that after looking at my footage that it might not be good enough, that Chapman might not get it or might think my story too extreme. Like I said it is very underexposed and I wish I could've filmed more shots. And like every person who looks at their work, I found so many faults I wish I could've corrected. But, that is the weird thing...none of this really mattered to me because I was so enthralled with what had happened, what I had attempted to create, and what I had learned, that everything else in my life became the horn section to my own parade. I was infatuated in my own creative self. But one of the greatest parts of the experience is everything I learned. In just a couple of hours I learned so much. I think you do learn best from experience as long as you have the basics to work off of. I learned to listen to the people, the extras in this scenario, around me and also to listen to my mind most fondly. When you get on "set" you have to take command because if not everyone thinks they're the director, everyone thinks they have a good idea but ultimately I think it is good to follow your vision and maybe keep an ear out for what others say (only applicable in the amateur director situation). I think it is a smart thing to listen to others because you don't know everything and you might not notice everything but, I also think you need a firm enough grip on your own idea/concept so that you can stay true to yourself and vision (and not let yourself get run over by extras)(<-- trust me I was dealing with 3 huge guys and this almost happened). Don't take my words as pro film maker bullshit because I don't know half of what I am talking about and I am just a PA trying to find her place. These are merely my observations. In the world I am nobody, just a body with some ideas. Overall, thanks to anyone who is reading this because you have probably inspired me in some way. And if you were there on Friday, a many thanks and much love for being the best people I know. -Molly

AHHH FREAK OUT.

This week was a complete catastrophe. I missed most of my classes, which is not okay at all, and I got into a car accident. Oh and nobody has double confirmed if they're going to be here tonight for my video. I swear all I want to do is curl up in bed, pull the covers over my head and dream about being somewhere different. Why can't people just call back and say, "yes" or "no." What is so freaking difficult about that? I hate flakes. I am a flake. Sometimes I hate myself. But I feel like after this week being such a blunder that everything is resting on tonight, this video, my future, my everything. I know, that's probably a little bit too much pressure to put on something like this, especially something that is already showing signs of incompleteness as we speak. I told myself that despite whatever happens I am going to make it work. My friend Chase said some of the best art is made under restrictions. Maybe I need to just get my head out of this quicksand that is sucking me down and start praying for a miracle or maybe creating a miracle. All I know is that after such a shitty week this night will be very telling of how much I have progressed. You always want things to work out just so, and sometimes they do and most of the time they don't and you end up having to find another route to get to your goal.